And the all time winner of the Random Acts of Guy-ness Award goes to...

Hi,
I want to preface this with an author's note, from me, the author.

This post was originally written in 2009? maybe? However, after I wrote this blog I recieved threatening texts which stated "Be prepared for personal and possibly legal implications". So I've removed all references to the actual names and people wo were invovled. Except for me ofcourse. I've never been happy about having to remove a post--out of fear--which was very theraputic for me. So here it is...Again.

Sometime in 2009...
 
...Well, I don't have many followers but I know there are some out there that don't respond but here's an update on an oldie post but is a real goodie "Random Acts of Guy-ness."

If you read Random Acts of Guy-ness I: The Original Inflictions, you may remember that is my catalog of the worst human male acts upon the female gender that I have personally witnessed.

In English, it's the damn stupid stuff guys think is okay to do to me just because I'm pretty, nice, and blonde (Someone needs to tell them that doesn't make me dumb).

Anyway so here it is. My BFF and I discussed me writing this for therapy after I had maybe the most bizarre morning ever since I moved to NYC. Here it goes, you get to read my therapy session.

ALL-TIME WINNER OF RANDOM ACTS OF GUY-NESS AWARD:
HE WHO MUST NOT BE IDENTIFIED (because I might receive threatening letters, texts, etc)


[Original photograph removed]

DON'T: Fake CANCER to hide your girlfriend of 5 years.
Yes, ladies and gents this is true I couldn't make this up if I tried. I will explain how this doesn't work to attract ladies, keep ladies and it fails to make them happy in any way.

I met [He Who Must Not Be  Identified] at [my place of work in 2004?] and never imagined he was the type to lie about having cancer or the type to cheat on multiple women. I thought he was sweet and kind. I was young.

I'm 27 [older] now and I met him when I was 24 and dated him on and off for about 2 and a half years. Anyway the math is very important for this story and 27-24=3 years. Okay that was easy, now remember 3 years.

Well one morning on my way to the dentist to get a "robot tooth (ie. some serious shit done)" I got a phone call. It was from a 212 number which means NYC and I thought "maybe work forgot I had a dentist appointment." I answered and a woman's voice on the other end said "Hello Kate, this is Rose" (name changed to protect her identity). I didn't know who Rose was so I said "Rose from where? I'm sorry I'm not sure I know who you are." She responded "Rose, [He Who Must Not Be Identified 's] girlfriend of five years? I live with him?"

Pause: Okay so back to the math equation..  [He Who Must Not Be  Identified] was dating Rose for 5 years... and I started dating him 3 years ago 5-3=oh crap.

Needless to say, I did not know that I ever dated a man that had a girlfriend. I have been cheated on a few times in the past and I know how bad it hurts, I would never do that to another girl knowingly. NEVER!

Anyway, Rose and I started talking because I figured out the math part very quickly and realized that "wow I was 'the other woman.' " I don't really remember much of our chat, I think I'm still a bit dazed by the revelation, but I do remember that I told her that we had broke it off a while ago and I was actually seeing someone else now. However, we did date for a very long time.

I guess she had found out about me a while ago and  [He Who Must Not Be Identified] was supposed to break up with me then. As we talked I realized that about six months after I met  [He Who Must Not Be Identified] at [my place of work in 2004?] he had told me that he had cancer and said that I would be better off without him because he was going to die. Well to make a long story short...we still dated for another 2 years after that before it finally ended for good.

I was pretty floored when  [He Who Must Not Be  Identified] told me he had cancer and was going to die. I felt bad, no terrible. I donated money to Livestrong, and preached to my friends about how important it is to make sure you stay healthy. I was very affected by knowing my "boyfriend" at the time had cancer.

Well, I guess I can breathe easy now, cuz Rose confirmed that it was all a big fat lie. And I figured it was  [He Who Must Not Be  Identified's] ingenious way of hiding Rose's existence from me while giving him an excuse to be MIA for days at a time. Whew, I was all worried about nothing! Haha silly me.

I guess if anything I can be happy that he is not dying of cancer.

tip: Lying about having cancer is really bad karma. Really bad, I wouldn't recommend it as a way to hide your current girlfriend from a new one.

What's new pussy cat?

Well it's been a while blog. and have I missed you? well yeah, actually, I think I have.

There is not much use in catching up but starting over will be appropriate. 

I would love to introduce you to the newest member of my family... Gerard Tibbington or #GerardTibbington. 

So yup that's what's up for now. I'm due some posts about a recent trip with my parents and there will be The Best of Amsterdam in a month (which I'm stoked about!!!)

Peace for now.