When is it time to purchase Rain boots?

(snapshot of the weather forecast from weather.com)

That is the anticipated weather report for the next 10 days for NYC.

Gross. You do not want to see the past 15 days either. It looks very similar.

Where do I live anyway? I did not sign up for this. NY summer begins promptly at the end of May and the beginning of June. Immediately the temperature rises to about 78-85 degrees Celsius, the sun comes out, air conditioners go into windows, hemlines rise and collars lower, the cat calls get louder and everyone drinks their coffee or tea on ice. NY is like this all summer and doesn't let up until late August or September.

NY is not: the loudest thunderstorms of your life, rain jackets, galoshes, wet pants, wet seats on the train because someone HAD to put their umbrella on the seat, or hot coffee at the end of June. It does not rain, then rain, pour, sprinkle, thunder storm then keep raining in NY. I guess someone did not tell the weather.com people this and unfortunately I'm experiencing a new NY.

I wouldn't mind sooo much but this has gone on for over a month and when I came back from Wisconsin everyone was considering ME tan! Something is not right with this picture. I tend to go back to the idea of cough cough... climate change. My parents like to disregard the whole climate change "theory," as they would call it, and defer to the more widely accepted idea that our plant's poles are shifting.

I personally think it's pretty reasonable to think bad carbon molecules and greenhouse gasses--that we create through processing fossil fuels and eliminating rain forests that would otherwise consume them--are trapping sunbeams into our atmosphere and then warming the planet creating irregular climate patterns. Or it could be both but if you want to think it's only that the magnetic poles are switching, that's cool too. Either way, this weather pattern is not normal. 80 degrees in Wisconsin in early June and 50 degrees in NYC in Late June? You decide.

On the bright side of this dark weather pattern, I love running in the rain and I have always wanted rain boots and a clear umbrella but I only think about those things when it is raining. So lately I've been enjoying wet outdoor runs and if this keeps up I may just remember to go buy some cute rain boots and a clear umbrella. Or maybe I'll get this one by one of my favorite Graphic Designers.

"Not Worth"

At 9:14am this morning I received two kinda disturbing anonymous txt messages. They were not disturbing because of the content but because they disturbed my peaceful sleep and lovely dream about driving around in England. I was on the wrong side of the road and everything!!!

The texts stated:
#1 he knows about your blog. hope you are ready for personal and possible legal implications.
#2 make sure he has nothing on you. not worth risking your reputation. from a friend
(exact punctuation, capitalization and spacing, for accuracy)


Holy cow!!! Someone is actually reading this!?!?!?!? I'm floored. I just write on here to vent and a couple friends stop by to say hi or see what I'm up to. It's like an open Facebook account but it's okay to talk only about myself on here at all times because, well, it's MY blog. :-)

So anyway, back to the purpose of this little blog all about me. I have since deleted my previous blog post 'And the Award for All time worst "Random Act of Guyness" goes to...' This post was a true story about my really bad ex-boyfriend who lied to me about having cancer so that he could cheat on his girlfriend and me... it's complicated but regardless I'm over it.

Txt #2 was right in two words "not worth." The whole thing was not worth my time, energy or anything for that matter. I've been over that situation for quite some time. So much so that I'd almost forgotten about it. I'm good at starting over, I've had to do it a lot. So I figure why not erase that little post just as I've erased that sleazy guy from my life? And with the miracle of techmology, I was able to do that in less than a minute. Woot for techmology!

Hmmm.... I am just assuming that "Random Act of Guyness" is what the anonymous txt was about. Shoot, what if someone is denying that I'm their friend or Eric is upset that I revealed my attendance at the Xmas party in Hawaii? Geeze I hope that's not the case.

Side Note: In case anyone--Since I now have admirers--is wondering, Yes everything I write on her is 100% truth. I don't feel the need to lie about anything here... I just tell it as it is. Besides that would be like making up your facebook status.

Wisconsin Girl in Wisconsin

Whoop! Whoop! was the theme of my past week +2 days in Wisconsin. My BFF Dana got married and so I flew from NY to WI with costumes, dresses, makeup and books to celebrate her marriage and party like a Wisco girl.

I'm in the airport on my way back now and I'm a bit early so I thought I'd write up my little adventure.

Day 1-2: The Flight from 90 degree hell
I thought I'd be all smart and get one final day of work in before I left NYC. I'm a freelancer so no work = no pay, yuck. So somehow (a $12 cab ride) I got my 47.8lb checked bag, a backpack, and a carry on from Queens to Rockefeller center (aka work). After work, with the help of Cathy, I got my stuff to a train then through my lady-charms I found a nice man to help me get my bags to the Northwest check-in counter in Newark. (fyi, this was the easy part).

Once I got on the plane it was... on time? No, it was not. It was delayed but only after everyone was on the plane and they established the fact that we would NOT be getting AC--on an airplane where the temperature was 90 degrees--until we took off. I hear getting stuck on the tarmac is the new cool thing to do so I got to do that and I'm now part of the cool crowd. Unfortunately, my flights ended up getting all messed up because I was partaking in the tarmac wait trend.

I am an optimist but also a New York City resident and I know that if you want to make something happen you have to act, immediately. So I did. The tarmac wait gave me time to make several phone calls and at the end of it all I had secured my spot on two later connecting flights and sweet talked a very nice Enterprise worker to wait for me to arrive at 11:26pm (2326 for those who speak military time). The end of Day 1.

Day 2: Ready, Set, Bachelorette Party!!!

(Dana, doing the honors of first flabongo)

The reason I went to Wisconsin a week before the wedding was to host Dana's Totally 80's Bodacious Bachelorette Party at my parents cabin on Pickerel Lake.

This was pretty freaking great. Dana kicked off the night with a 'flabongo.' This was a new thing to me but from observing the rest of the guest's skilled flabongo techniques, I could tell it's been around Wisconsin for some time. Note to NY, it's time to ditch the $9 beer nights and start flabongo parties, they are cheaper and more colorful.

My dad was there too. Okay, yeah weird my dad was at the bachelorette party? Yes, he was the DD for our pontoon boat. After a few drinks and kabobs at the cabin we took off with Dad and the neighbor on their pontoon boats. There were pontoon races, pontoon flabongos and pontoon 80's dancing.

It was a great day and night and the pics say all you need to know.

tip: It might be a good idea to sanitize the 'flabongo' before, after and maybe a few times in between. A few of us (including myself) now have sore throats. ew.

(Me and Little D)

(Dad with the cops. There was an incident with cops but Dad took care of it)

Days 3-5: RRC (Rest, Relaxation & Cheese)
This title kinda sums it up. I rested, hung out with my family, read some books, ate cheese, drank beer and hung out with friends.

A couple of highlights from these days were: Seeing my god son take his first steps, A sleep over with my nieces and nephew and kayaking down the Eau Claire River with an old friend from high school.

(My nephew Silas entertaining himself and me after bath time)

Days 6-8: Party, Party, Party, Wedding
On the Thursday before the wedding Jacci came up from New Orleans and I drove to Appleton to party with Dana & her future sister in-law Janelle and Jacci & her real sister Jessie. We (or I) played "See what a Wisconsin Cosmo tastes like in every bar in Appleton." It was an interesting and slightly painful experience but I ended the night with water and ibuprofen so I was tip-top the next day.

This was key because the next day was the rehearsal. After rehearsal we partied more, drank more and hung out on a creek with a campfire and the moonlight. It was awesome.

(Rehearsal. This was a very serious rehearsal. I am not trying to climb on Janelle, I'm practicing in case of... ummmmm choking? Oh, and the boys are hydrating with water)

(Dana, nervous and getting ready to be a wife)

Then there was the wedding day. Dana is kind of a nervous person to begin with so getting married is probably the scariest thing she's done yet. Somehow (force feedings of pizza and mimosa) we got her through it all and everyone had a great day.

Note: It's a good thing that rain is good luck for weddings because Dana got married outside in the rain and then it down poured the entire day after the ceremony.

Day 9: Now

(Me enjoying my last bag of cheese curds for a long long time)

I drove back to the airport early so I could see Mom and Dad once before I left and we just had lunch and they left me here. Now I'm waiting and writing. I should read or do some work but I didn't want to forget too much before I wrote it down.

There are so many more details to go with the trip, like: falling out of a kayak on a trip that should have been 3 hours but was 5, following 2 bald eagles down the river, giving fishing a 10 minute shot then giving up shortly after, picking my nieces up from their last day of school and watching Stella skip a bar on the monkey bars, and many more experiences. All in all I had a great time I think this story covers the gist of it.

Trip Theme Songs (an idea I stole): Rainbow Warriors-CocoRosie, Float On--Modest Mouse, Ha Ha--Emiliana Torrini